no dreams

so I've had a pretty good week as far as flashbacks and dreams.  I've been having some weird vision dreams but nothing to do with my present, everything to do with my future :-) yeah!!! and it's looking good so far.

I had to drop school this term cuz I don't have the money for gas.  It cost me 80 a week for gas and we simply don't have it.  we have 100 in bank to last us until next week when ryan gets paid.  I'll have my ssi next week but that pays the rent, mortgage, and my car payment.  Good news, I get offered a job at kmart i'm just waiting for the background check to come back.  I messed up the one address (i realized that last night) for I had the zip code right.  I'm hoping that doesnt mess up my being hired.  Due to my work experience they actually offered my a different position for 50 cent more an hour.  We really need the extra money we I hope I get it.  I have no criminal history, i've never been in trouble for anything so I'm sure it will be ok.  I'm just over thinking it.

It just sucks I had to drop school but what are you going to do.  I'm talking to university of phoenix about their associate in human service degree.   It would be all online and I wouldn't have to worry about gas and shit.  Plus I could be home for sharpie.  oh yea I don't think I mention that.  Sharpie will be starting online schooling this year, shit at school is getting bad and I finally agreed to allow her to do it.  Under the understanding that she has to follow some rules.  The only issue I see at this point is the fact that she is already complaining that she is bored.  That isn't going to change much.  She isn't bored as in nothing to do, she is bored of being in the house well hate to broke it to her, she is going to be in the house a lot more.  I'll try and take her out, maybe we will go to the park and read or walk or even work on homework.  You know different environment.  But I think in the long run she will do fine, she just need to adjust to it.

So things are going to be ok in the end, just right now they suck but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.  And truthfully even if something happens and I don't get the job (i hope not though, I hate not working really) I will be saving almost 350-400 a month in gas money, so we will be better off in a few ways.  And I'll just keep looking for a job.  It's almost the bust season and other places will be hiring for the season which will give us more money for the holidays and that is the biggest thing.  I want to be able to afford my daughter christmas.

anyways, well that just reminded me of christmas during my childhood, I just got a few flashes of me sitting around watching everyone else opening gift when I only got one if I was "good".  That is for a different post. I don't remember much other than that.  If I remember more I'll post it :(

time to eat, sugar getting low.  And guess I'll work on sharpies blanket, maybe I'll actually finish this one :)  I did finally finish eddie and julia's wedding gift hahahahahha 4 months after they got married.